Number three already! This is fun!
I was a bit skeptical at first, but after taking the first pill my mind was blown. “Mijn naam is Peter” (My name is Peter), I said to the man. “Holy, it works!”
“I told you so. Now, pay up.”
“Alright, you were right. Here you go,” I said. I handed the man $50 and we both went our own ways. The fifty bucks paid for three pills. The pills have a slight orange colour, glowing when you hold them against light. Imagine the possibilities; speaking a foreign language fluently, all because of a little pill. This will definitely impress the girls.
“Hoe gaat het ermee?” (How are you doing?) I asked the cashier, but he looked at me like I was crazy. I tried testing my newly acquired skill in the supermarket. “Het werkt echt!” (It really works!) I shouted. People behind me in the line became irritated with me muttering all these foreign words. “Move the f*ck up!”, “Shut your face and move!” some of their exclamations were, but they didn’t matter to me: I could speak Dutch fluently. As I left the store with my groceries, something stirred in my stomach. Meh, probably some gas. As soon as I reached my car in the parking lot however, another stir in my stomach made me alert. You’ve got to be kidding me, I went to the loo thirty minutes ago. Before I could open the car my stomach gave a final stir and it was already too late. I felt a warm fluid run into my pants. Shit no! Without thinking I dropped my pants, letting the rest of the brown fluid scatter onto the black asphalt. After two minutes or so I thought the digested waterfall was over, but as soon as I got up, another stir in my stomach proved otherwise.
And what’s the point of being able to speak Dutch fluently when you’re in the States?